George Carlin 1937 - 2008

Well, I'm glad I ain't scared to be lazy.

A nice spoiler free article in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette about MBV3D with quotes from producer, Jack Murray and a new pic of The Ackles for all those on Team Jensen.

Izzie Rain walks. First a disclaimer. Her mother didn't dress her. It was chilly at the Cannery Row so I snatched a backup tie-dye from under the Bugaboo. I thought I would get points for layering. Apparently not. But that don't matter. The creature hath walked. Her journey to full cylon awareness is almost complete. Sure she took her sweet time but we ain't exactly been pushing her. Sort of figured she'd get around to it when she was ready. And go figger. She did. We never had practice walking sessions. We play, we sing, we dance. We watch Backyardigans and Yo Gabba Gabba. We let her climb. And we let her fall. And kiss the booboo if it comes to that. Most of the time falling just pisses her off and she immediately climbs back up. That's my girl. Fact is, I'm pretty happy.

Of course, I can't wait for the revolution, the day the people take a stand against the corporate machine by downing all forms of communication and electric power, forcing all to return to the spiked club and the campfire so that I can just chill out with the girls. But until then...I got a lot of work to do. Too much work to do. Of the top of my head there are twelve. Four are pressing and screaming for attention. Monkey's Paw, Angeles, Devil's Raiders, Argonauts. I write these down so that 20 years from now I can refer back to this journal and show my daughter what I was doing while she grew up.

Speaking of growing up. I guess I'll never get over the small fact that my little brother is "doing it". But evidently he is. Because he and his lovely wife gave birth to Izzie Rain's very first cousin, Skyler Jorn, 8 pounds 3 ounces. A size which both Mel and Izzie quickly proclaimed "sissy". I said this earlier to my father who asked, "What's that supposed to mean?" I replied, "You know, because Izzie was so big." He had no clue. "Dad, Izzie was 11 lbs, 10 oz." He did not understand the words that were coming out of my mouth. Nada. These are not the droids you're looking for. Like a deer caught in the headlights. Elevator to the penthouse has been closed for repairs. Three cheers for paying attention.

But all in all, life is good. Messengers II wrapped. I'm hearing great things. Spoke with Martin, the director, today. He's a couple weeks away from heading to LA to start cutting it together. MBV is nearing the finish line. Nothing but good news from the set. Spoke with Patrick several times since returning from Pittsburgh. Just this morning he mentioned a scene they shot and how awesome it went. Yup, life is good.

Which is most likely why someone sent me an email today which said simply, "Hey, have you seen the message boards at the imdb about you?"

Why no. I had not. Didn't even know they existed. Thanks for the head's up. I simply don't know how I've managed to make it this far in life without the detailed love and support that the readers of the imdb have to offer. Why, let's just take a moment to relive some of them.

by f-slocum (Sun Mar 19 2006 14:49:45)
"Face it the man is untalented,He just borrowed the ideas and stuff form video games and just put them inot his screipt for Jason X.proves how untalented he really is(there's more but I'm not going to say it)I am giving Todd Farmer one mroe chance on Psychopath but if it sucks he should retire now and work at a gas station in Texas,cause that's the only job he looks like he cna do."

by bloody_axe_boy (Sat Feb 3 2007 15:59:31)
"John Carpenter should of never let this guy help him write his nexted movie, did any of you seen Jason X? yea...boring! lame! and just plane old sucky"

by Croc-O-Dyle (Sun Jan 27 2008 16:39:51)
"Not untalented - that only implies lack of talent. This scum is actually *antitalented* - he sucks even the tiniest potential of goodness out of anything that he approaches. He's one of the many black holes of the industry. Fortunately, it's a very small and insignificant black hole, no bigger than a hedgehog's back orifice."

That one's my favorite. Scum. Hedgehog's orifice. How proud I must be. Hey, Izzie Rain. come here. Read this. See how stupid it makes daddy look.

Eh, nevermind. I spend half my life looking stupid without any one else's help.

Of course for every sun there is a moon. For every Vader there is a Kenobi. And there were those who said kind words and defended the black hole that is me. Thanks for that. I doubt you'll ever find or see my thanks from my hidden little place in the web so I'm sending good thoughts and as a result perhaps your Venti Mocha will be spontaneously free tomorrow.

And to those of you that hate me. Eh, may your mocha be free too. Life's tough enough without holding grudges. But you should know, not everyone hates me. There are, in fact, those that...well...love me. At least I think it's love.

by myersfreak78 (Fri Jun 27 2003 12:56:32)
"Oh im so in love..."

by billyxix (Wed May 26 2004 06:15:22)
"I am in TOTAL agreement! I dunno if your a man or a woman, but I'm a guy, and he is my total type of guy I find incredibly hot!"

Smoke'em if you got'em I say. Thus, here's one for the ladies...ahem...guys.

It really is sort of Supernatural

One time I was sitting at a red light thinking. I do that sometimes. Think. The light turned green. But I didn't go because, as I mentioned, I was thinking. Finally I realized my error and started to pull forward as WHAM! This massive SUV ran the redlight ahead! Was it luck? Good judgement? Karma that kept me alive that day? Dunno, but whatever it was, it's still watching over me. Because I shudder to imagine what would have happened had I said an ill word toward young master Jensen Ackles in my previous post. Well, I don't have to imagine. I know what would have happened. It would have started slowly. I would have noticed people who looked out of place. On the street corner. Across from the Red House Cafe. More and more as the day went on. Like the first chapter of Sorcerer's Stone. Except where the Dursley's were seeing wizard robes and pointy hats. I would have been seeing Supernatural T-shirts and glaring faces. This would no doubt have resulted in my being dragged out into the streets by a posse of Jensenites. Using mythology from the show I would have been proclaimed some form of demon. I'm nearly certain someone would have shot me with a salt filled shotgun.

Disaster avoided.

Thank you for the comments and emails. All very kind. Well, except for that one email. Apparently I am forever damned to the seventh level of hell for only just now recognizing the brilliance that is Jensen.

I actually suck at playing Hollywood. I'm known to speak my mind much to my own detriment. If I didn't like something I'd tell you. But Jensen, Jaime, Kerr, Edi, Betsy...the entire cast...they really are just that good. Their performances make me look like a better writer. Sure, it's just a horror movie but man is it going to be a well done horror movie. I'm just proud to be a small part of it.

This is just a small thing but I found it endearing. I guess it was day one. I had not yet been introduced to Mr. Ackles. And there was no guarantee that I would be. Writers tend to drool, belch and break wind so the powers that be like to keep up away from the talent. Truth is, writers, we do our part early on. We may tweak a line or two during production or make a quick change due to budget restraints but our job is to stay out of the way once the cameras start rolling. We become both unseen and forgotten. So, I was well hidden in the shadows across the set from where Jensen was shooting a very intense scene. Cut. Then as the crew moved camera and lights for the next set up, Jensen crossed the entire set. I remember looking up and thinking, hmm, wonder where he's going. Turns out he was coming to introduce himself to me.

Looks, talent and just a wonderfully nice guy. Keep him safe, Fandom, he's one of the good ones.

25,000 Feet

The Bloodiest of Valentines. Obviously the 3D cat is out of the bag. So, let me tell you this. It looks amazing. HiDef 3D is a gorgeous thing to behold. Wednesday’s arrival found myself and actress, Betsy Rue, in a van to the production offices. After a quick costume fitting it was back to the hotel where we unloaded luggage, ate, then caught another van to the set where EXT. NIGHT mayhem ensued.

I greeted a glowing but very tired Patrick Lussier. Big smiles and an even bigger hug, so big I thought I’d broken his 3D glasses. We met the ladies in make-up, I got nosy trying to sniff out the on-set juicy gossip but was shut down. I would have to prove myself before being taken into the inner circle.

Betsy and I watched actor, Tom Atkins, shoot a couple of scenes, entertained a collection of extras and stayed up as late as we could in an attempt to get our bodies and minds on the night time schedule. Then we grabbed Pat, who would later become our regular and most laid back driver, and journeyed back to the hotel for some fast sleep.

I was up by ten and hit the gym. On my first day I met actor Kerr Smith. And I was very happy about that. Kerr is a Dawson’s Creek grad. And more recently Mel and I had TiVo’d Justice for its short run and were impressed with how easily he held his own against Victor, Jenny Garner’s daddy from Alias. From early on, Patrick had given me access to the auditions. No director has ever done this for me. But that’s Patrick. And Kerr was a stand out. You know, it’s always fun to hear your words flow from the mouth of a great actor. But when that actor takes your words and delivers them in ways you never even imagined…well, that’s sort of dreamy. Anyway, since I’m an opinionated son of a Kentuckian, I, of course, shared my favorite with Patrick. Go figger. His favorite too. No surprise. Because that’s when the Hollywood machine actually works. I’m nothing special. My opinion is nothing special. But when you get a bunch of like minded people around, magic nearly always results. And Patrick is brilliant at surrounding himself with like minds. Anyway, I thought Kerr’s auditions were great. Magic beans compared to what he’s doing now. You can’t help but marvel at his performances and wonder just how long before this cat is a household name.

And speaking of dreamy…Jensen Ackles. Good lord. No fella should be that good looking. And that deep voice of his? Swoon. Mel adored him on Smallville, which led to our watching Supernatural where I was introduced to his talent. I like Supernatural. I like him in the show. But I just didn’t expect the performances I’ve been seeing. I guess I was prejudging the good looks. Sue me. We’re all bastards in our own way. His role is one of those challenging roles that can be played vanilla or stunning. It’s a risk for an actor to take on a role like this. I once saw an actor not only lose his job but I personally rewrote his character out of the script because the actor had gone with vanilla. Jensen went with stunning. I watched him shoot a scene on night two that gave me goosebumps. Patrick refers to him as a young Steve McQueen.

Jaime King was off this week so we didn’t meet. Make note of what I’m about to say because I so rarely admit fault but I had written her character a little too harshly when we first meet her. Fortunately Patrick caught my mistake and I made the fixes last week. I saw some of that footage while here. Well, not here. Currently, here is bouncing up and down in first class as we swing around a big storm. But the footage was awesome. She was stunning. Both to look at and in her performance. She is amazingly perfect in so many ways. A buddy of mine said he saw her last week and she was commenting that Patrick Lussier was the nicest director she’s ever worked with.

It’s pretty amazing just how talented this cast is. Which brings us to Edi BigLove Gathegi. If you watched House then you know of whom I’m speaking. Just before I flew in, Mel and I saw him in Gone Baby Gone. He’s a chameleon. I ran into he and Kerr near the trailers shortly after we’d shot our first scene together. In one of my attempts to sound witty while talking to actors (and trying not to let my fanboy show), I was telling Kerr and Edi that Edi’s part and their banter got both longer and better after they were cast. For the simple reason that Patrick (and myself) really liked them together. Patrick told me pretty much exactly how he saw them in his head and I went home and pretty much wrote exactly what he wanted. But when I said this to Kerr and Edi, Edi knew me only as some noname day-playing actor who had suddenly walked up and started talking like he owned the place. He was like, “Uh…I don’t see it that way.” Then turned to Kerr, “Do you?” So I tried to explain myself by saying the script used to be this and that, which did little more than baffle Edi as to how in the big wide world did this bald moron of an actor read early versions of the script? Finally, I think Edi said something along the lines of, “I’m sorry, who are you?” Which is when Kerr jumped in and said, “He’s the writer.” So, in my attempt to give these guys a compliment, I made one of them feel silly. Nice stringing together of your words, Mr. Farmer. Keep it up. You should be a writer or something. A simple, “Hey, Edi, I worked as a writer on the movie. Your and Kerr’s auditions were so good, we ended up making your scenes together bigger.” I guess that would have been too easy. Not nearly complex and confusing enough.

You know what I don’t like? Lightning at umpteen thousand feet. Don’t like them big sudden drops out of the sky much neither.

I had spoken with producer, Jack Murray, several times on the phone before meeting on set. Jack is not only the coolest looking bastard on the planet, he’s also exactly what you want in a producer. When I’m on the set, part of the fun is stealthing back and watching. It’s that whole…who you are when no one is looking. I watched Jack make the rounds. I watched Jack go out of his way to make Patrick’s job easier. He didn’t seem to be doing it for praise. He was doing because that’s what a great producer does. I’m not used to that. On my first movie the producers were the enemies. They spent ALL of their time creating obstacles for both myself and the director. Creativity dried up because we were busy putting out their fires. But on this set I saw Jack put out several fires, many before they’d even started. Many before Patrick even knew they existed. When I witness someone watching out for my brother…well…it earns my loyalty. Good man, Jack.

I met cinematographer, Brian Pearson. I knew he was something special because this wasn’t the first time Patrick had worked with him. It’s sort of amazing. They are starting to sound alike. Both soft spoken. A similar cadence to their voices. I watched a couple of playbacks and Brian’s visuals are stunning. The man has managed to make me look even better than I naturally do. I’ve always been a 10 but Brian has turned me up to eleven. While watching the playbacks I found myself wanting to make out with me. He’s just that good. And like Patrick his passion and workaholism is unending. Even at lunch their conversations would drift into upcoming shots. These are men incapable of halfassing. Phoning something in is simply impossible for them. It’s not in their nature. It’s actually inspiring to watch these two together. I think this is one of those partnerships we/they will still be talking about decades down the road.

Then there’s Gary Tunnicliffe. Gary’s a Brit with blood. His prosthetic creations are…well…just one big ol’ lighting bolt away from…It’s Alive! Alive! Gary’s a little intimidating. You’ve met those people who are jacks of all trades? Gary’s sort of like that but he’s more a King of all trades. It’s a little creepy. Not only can he mix up a mean batch of blood but he’s an incredible writer. He told me the story for a screenplay he’d written which both blew me away and made me jealous that I hadn’t thought of it myself. And then there’s the sense of humor. The man keeps you in stitches. For instance, Producer Jack brought the Coffee Guy to set one night for the crew. The Coffee Guy was exactly what you would expect…a one man Starbucks. One by one, everyone made their way over to his table to order assorted specialty coffees. Except our stuntman. Who for one reason or another couldn’t get there. So he grabbed a union radio and ordered an espresso with a pump of vanilla. Pump. Of. Vanilla. This phrase crawled up Gary’s backside and dug in like a lime carrying tick. Pump of effing Vanilla? You’re the bloody stuntman! Shouldn’t you be tossing back a shot of Wild Turkey? Not a bloody Pump of Vanilla! You’d never catch Hooper ordering a pump of vanilla. Then he proceeded to quote 73 percent of the dialog from Hooper. Before the end of his rant, the stuntman had been forever dubbed, POV (Pump of Vanilla). I love Gary. I love him because he gave me a pillow. I wish I could explain what that means. In March perhaps.

Then you have actress, Betsy Rue. Brave doesn't begin to describe her. She came to Pittsburgh ready to work and beware any all that get in her way. She kept the crew in stitches and within three minutes of entering the makeup trailer the girls were calling her a breath of fresh air. Spunky and tells it like it is. If war breaks out on a movie set, you'd better end up on Betsy's side or you are going to get wounded. I fully expect her to be a huge star and she's already got that whole hiding from the paparazzi thing down.

Fact is, the whole experience was humbling. The crew is simply phenom. The actors are great. And the story is unbelievably good if I say so myself. And although I knocked much of it out of the park, the praise must go to Patrick first. Because, as always happens, great projects always end up getting screwed by studio egos. Does this mean studio executives have nothing but bad ideas? Not at all. I’ve used some great ideas that came from executives. Even the yoyos at Lions Gate came up with some good ideas from time to time. But here’s the rub. Not ALL of their ideas are good. Can they market a movie? Sure can. In fact, they excel at it. I would even go as far as saying Lions Gate is one of the best in the business when it comes to marketing. If one of their movies fails, the one department you can’t blame is marketing. The one department you can blame is development. Patrick overcame. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched a script reach that point where it takes a step backwards. Many times that step backwards becomes a simple freefall. I witnessed the big step backwards. I saw it happen. Patrick saw it happen. He told me he’d stop it. He told me he’d fix it. And. He did. Not only did he keep his word, but the story is actually better than before the backslide. He’s a freaking genius. Patrick, Jack, the actors…somehow they managed to get the rotting apples out of the batch. It just so rarely happens.

I’m so very proud to be a small part of this movie. As the end of the month nears, the film will wrap. Patrick and Cynthia will attack the editing and eventually Lions Gate’s Marketing will take over. I couldn’t be happier. I remember what those New Line morons did to Jason X. So nice to have access to a department that knows what it’s doing. In fact, I met Lions Gate’s Head of Marketing. She stopped at the Doubletree to pick up her friend Selena, with whom I was chatting. Earlier I noticed Selena and I had the same call time and assumed we would be riding in the same union driven van. Not so. Rightfully so, I wasn't allowed in the grown up van. But no worries. When we got outside there was a resounding roll of thunder, the sky lit up, the heavens opened and Bob arrived. Or Roberto as he was often called when he drove Robert Duvall around. I don’t recall Bob’s proper title, but he was the union bossman. I leapt into Bob’s Mini and we sped away.

Sarah was there because both her friend and her dog are in our movie. Her dog, which I innocently referred to as, Louis the Pug, much to her horror. I had just insulted the most powerful person at Lions Gate. She promptly informed that it was, in fact, Louise the French Bully. It should be noted that the Mightie Louis’s trailer was the same size as mine. Some might be offended by this. But I know how important Mightie Louis is so I gotta think my career is on the rise. And while it would have been easy to just shove both friend and dog into the script and call it a day, they both take part and add to what will be one of the coolest set pieces in the film. Of course, this is a film with a dozen brilliant set pieces. But the point is, nothing was ever phoned in.

It was a crazy, even surreal night. All in all, I didn’t want to like Sarah, Head of Marketing, because she’s a suit. I’m just so used to suits being the enemies. But I couldn’t help it. I liked her. Because you know what I love? Competence. I love people who are good at their jobs. Not just good, but great. Sarah is great at her job. Probably the best. As a result she demands and deserves respect. You know what I don’t love? Incompetence. There are a lot of people who think their position makes them deserving of respect. Sadly, for every Sarah, there are two morons skating under the radar of incompetence. It disgusts me actually. I honestly wish I didn’t care so much because they are everywhere and hard to detect sometimes. We have a great director. A great crew. A phenomenal cast. Gary’s FX are disgustingly perfect. Paradise’s 3D is a gorgeous thing to behold. Clever writing and a top notch marketing department ready to sell this thing from Scranton to the dark side of the moon. And right slap in the middle we had some asshats who very nearly sank the boat before she left the dock. All because of ego, fear and incompetence. In a previous post I said I didn’t want to work with Lions Gate again. Isn’t that crazy? Lions Gate is a strong company. How about we just cut out the bad apples? Joe Drake? You got your ears on good buddy? That’s trucker lingo cuz I play a trucker, after all.

I’ve just grown weary of the BS. Yes. Hollywood can sell movies. And as nutty as it may sound. Bloody Valentine is going to be one of the good ones. One of the films that slipped through the minefield to become something wonderful. I just think it’s time to get rid of the mines once and for all. I’d like to think a change is coming.

Plane landed in San Francisco safely. I returned to my wife and child. We walked the ocean. We watched a Panda fight with mightie Kung Fu. And as crazy as it was…6 day weeks, 16 hour days…I didn’t really want to leave. It’s so wonderful to be a part of something when you can see it’s working. And oh was it working. Of course, I missed Mel and Izzie. They’re my life. And in the five days while I was away my daughter decided to walk. I missed it.

But even now, as it is barking up 6 AM in Pittsburgh, I wish I was there, standing in a cold wet mine shaft. Tweaking a line here and there. Or offering a smile to a weary crewman or crewwoman. Or chatting with Bomba about his 31 years working for Mr. Rogers. I mean, how cool is that? Of course, I’d want Mel and Izzie snoozing in the hotel for my return. But that’s just how I roll.

Pittsburgh

I gotta start blogging more. The whole point of this was to be able to one day look back and chuckle at the adventure. Which means I need to get to work.

As far as Hollywood is concerned, I’m told that one should keep politics to his or her self, unless you want to destroy your career. Of course, since I’ve spent years reinventing ways of destroying my career…why stop now?

I am a Republican voting for Obama.

I have not switched parties despite the Bush administration’s many tireless efforts to convince me to do so. If Hillary bests Obama then McCain gets my vote. Although I don’t see that happening. Despite my alma matter, Kentucky’s, best efforts. When Kentucky was asked upon leaving the exit polls, why didn’t you vote for Obama, twenty-five percent responded, “Cuz he’s black.” Kentucky. Bless their hearts. Always the last to jump on board the Politically Correct train.

Messengers II has wrapped.

One script entered. Two movies leaved. At times it was frustrating writing and rewriting for such a low budget. But it sure was fun. And the notes were smart. The discussions were smart. The process was…wait for it…enjoyable. I had fun writing it. I had fun rewriting it. I would, with no hesitation, gladly work with Ghost House and Mandate again. I am really looking forward to seeing the finished product.

My Bloody Valentine is currently shooting and shooting in 3D. That last detail has turned the production into a monster. Huge lights, giant cameras and eons to set up shots. Welcome to the digital world. They have switched to 14 hours a day, six day weeks. I’ve been tweaking lines along the way. In fact, I polished last night what will shoot tonight. And I am loving Patrick Lussier. But then I always have. Not only is a friend…he’s simply a pleasure to work with and I consider it an honor being one of his commandos. Would and will happily work with him again. As for Lions Gate…nah. Not if I can help it. There are plenty of hungry writers in the world. I don’t mind sharing. Let somebody else have a turn. And one day I’ll tell the behind-the-scene story. An epic adventure of a handful of heroes who do battle with a team of villainous morons. But that is a story for another day. Suffice it to say, the good guys won…although a few of us lost limbs.

I leave on Wednesday for Pittsburgh. I am playing a small role in the film.

As for Monkey’s Paw…if you recall from my last post, I had proclaimed it perhaps the best script I had ever written. Risky and bold and a throwback to the way movies used to be made, to the way stories used to be written. Yeah. Well. So much for that. I’m currently doing a page 5 rewrite. That means the first five pages are the same…everything else brand new. I’ll make it work because that’s what I do.

I used to think my job as the screenwriter was like a novelist, in that he/she writes a story and Hollywood does everything in its power to nurture, protect and bring that story to fruition. Rrright. When monkey's fly out of Bob Barker's butt. No, like it or not, in today's Hollywood the Screenwriter's job is to take many different opinions, ideas, visions and work those into a cohesive and compelling story. No, that's not easy. And yes, the truth hurts. But I'm not here to blow smoke up your hoohoo.

Anyone who frequents movie message boards will see the trend. The general public knows. Movies aren’t as good. Most poeple don’t know why. Heck, sadly even Hollywood doesn’t know why or somebody would change the current trend. I think, and of course I could be wrong, but I think the answer is simple. The people who know how to make movies aren’t the ones making the movies. The writers aren’t in charge of writing the story any more. Executives are. And I’m not talking about high-level power executives. I’m talking about all executives. Even the kid fresh out of film school. The directors are losing their directorial power. This may come as a surprise but at many studios it’s the Marketing Department who has final say over casting.

I and other believe that movies on the whole have suffered. The quality of the story has suffered.

Don’t believe me? Test the theory. Look at the top ten movies of 2002. Then compare those to the top ten movies of 2007. Which year has your favorites movies? And pay no attention to box office. Studios have that down to a Science. They know how to sell movies. They just forgot to let the talent make the movies.

Remember when all Oscar movies used to be made by studios? Not anymore. Juno. No Time for Old Dudes. Now Oscar goes to the independents. Why? What has changed? Pretty simple really. Writers and directors still control the movies in the independent world. Not so much in the studio world. But what about Iron Man? It was great! And it was huge! Everyone loved it! Yes, it was. But Iron Man wasn’t made by a studio. It was an independent. Marvel paid for it. Marvel controlled it. Not a studio. What about all the Pixar movies? Toy Story. Monster’s Inc. Finding Nemo. Again independent. Until recently. Will that change now that they are with Disney? If Disney is smart they’ll stay out of the way.

So, what else is going on? Well, once I have Monkey’s Paw behind me (I should finished when I return from Pittsburgh) I have a TV pilot to finish. Then I’m going to write a spec for Thomas Jane based on a Tim Bradstreet idea. Too early to get into details but it will be fun.

And even though imdb removed Psychopath from its listing, Carpenter is still attached and it’s still happening. It’s going to be a comic book first…as I have mentioned before. The comic will come out before the end of the year through…eh…I forget the publisher. It’s one of the independents. I’ll find out and post later.

I guess I could ramble on, but perhaps shorter, sweeter and more consistent posts are the new thing.